You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine
by ellie-hiddlebatch
Summary: It's a year after the fall, and John writes a note to say goodbye. WARNING: I DO NOT ENCOURAGE WHAT THE CHARACTERS DO IN THIS STORY.
1. The Letter

**It's been a year, since the fall. A lonely, lonely year. I wish that it had never happened, and now my life just feels like nothing without him. I'm so lonely, and I miss him. He was real, and more importantly, he was my friend. My only friend. And this is my note. **

**I don't have anyone to write to- my only friend is dead. Harry- stay off the drinks, will you? For me? Your dead brother. **

**I guess that's it, really… the pain has just gone too far to ever be repaired. It's my only choice. I wish it didn't have to end like this, but wishing gets you nowhere, as every day, I pray that Sherlock is still alive. **

**I guess that leaves me to say goodbye… so, goodbye. **

**~JW**


	2. Part One

** "****John!" yelled Sherlock, racing towards the hospital bed that John was lying on. "John," he cried, "John, John, John…"**

**Sherlock had been undercover around the country for a year. He got the news of John's fall from Mycroft; who somehow knew he was alive. To that day, Sherlock didn't know how. Sherlock had rushed to the hospital as quickly as possible. **

**John lay lifeless on the hospital bed. He barely had a heartbeat. The wound on his head wasn't completely fatal, but almost. **

** "****John," he whispered, placing his hand on John's, "please, don't die, John, I'm still alive!" **

**John gave no response. His eyes were closed, and his chest had stopped rising and falling. The sight was particularly morbid to Sherlock. **

** "****Don't be dead. Just- don't die. For me. For everyone. We don't need another death. I don't need another death. Push through it. I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, stay alive."**

**John's eyes opened slightly. "Sh- sherlock," he said. His eyelids gently closed.**

**Sherlock shed a tear for his blogger. It landed on John's hand, which Sherlock found himself gripping tightly.**

**"You are my sunshine,"he sang quietly in John's ear, "my only sunshine... You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away..."**

**John flatlined the next morning. He had not survived the fall. **

**Sherlock got the call at 2:21 in the morning. He quickly dressed, and walked to the hospital. He went down to the morgue, and found Molly with John's body. **

** "****Sherlock, I'm so sorry. I really am," said Molly, but Sherlock barely heard her as he rushed toward John, his eyes full of tears. **

** "****No. No, no, no," Sherlock whispered. "No!"**

** "****Sherlock!" Molly said. **

** "****Molly," he said, "this was my fault. All my fault. It's because of me. All me. I can't take it. I can't." He burst into genuine, heartfelt tears. **

**Molly walked over to Sherlock, slowly and carefully. "This.. it was in his hand when he jumped." It was a torn sheet of paper. **

**Weeping, Sherlock read the note. His teardrops stained the crinkled paper, and he put it in his pocket. **

**"Thank you, Molly."**


	3. Part Two

**"John Hamish Watson was the best person that I ever knew." Sherlock paused. "I will miss him dearly. I-" He paused again. "I will never forget how John made me human. I thought that since I was different that I could only be alone."**

**The church was silent. Everyone was dreading the speech of the consulting detective at John's funeral. Sherlock didn't believe in God, but he tolerated it for John's sake. **

**"That's-that's all I can do." Sherlock stepped down from the lecturn, and Harry Watson stepped up to share a few moments from her and John's childhood. Sherlock's eyes were fixed upon the plain, wooden casket where John lay. His eyes were closed, and he was dressed in a nice suit that Sherlock had never seen him wear. **

**Sherlock left the funeral in a haste. After returning to 221b Baker Street, he sat down in his chair, staring at John's forever empty chair that was directly across from his. He sighed. He couldn't help feeling responsible for John's death. After all, Sherlock had jumped in the first place. He didn't mean to cause John that much pain. **

**But it still happened. **

**He leaned back, examining his bohemian apartment. The wall with the black and white damask pattern was now faded, and Sherlock noticed the smile painted onto the wall, and his gunshots surrounding it. He didn't feel like smiling. Not without John. **

**Sherlock turned his attention to the cluttered table, where John's laptop lay open. Sherlock logged on. **

**_I refuse to believe that Sherlock Holmes was a fake. _****Sherlock read the most recent post on his blog. ****_Sherlock was easily the most important thing in my life and now he's gone. I don't know what to do... _****Sherlock stopped reading. The guilt was too much for him to bear. Sherlock noticed the gun to the right of John's computer. Shaking, he brought it to his head, knowing that if there was something after death, he would be with John. And if there wasn't anything... It would still be better then living with the guilt and tragedy of killing his best friend. **

**He pulled the trigger. **


End file.
